Cord Cutting From an Ex: Release the Past and Reclaim Your Energy

Breakups do not end when the relationship ends. Even after you stop talking, stop seeing each other, and stop sharing space, there is still an energetic cord connecting you to your ex. These cords form naturally in intimate relationships — they are the energetic threads that carry love, attachment, memories, and unresolved emotions between two people.

A cord cutting ritual severs that energetic connection so you can heal fully and open yourself to new love. It does not mean you stop caring about the person. It means you stop carrying them with you in a way that drains your energy.

Signs You Need a Cord Cutting

How do you know if you are still energetically attached to an ex?

• You think about them daily, even months or years after the breakup
• You feel their emotions or physical sensations (empathic cords)
• You dream about them frequently
• You cannot seem to move forward in new relationships
• You feel drained after any contact or interaction with them
• You check their social media obsessively
• You still feel angry, sad, or attached even though you know the relationship was wrong

If any of these resonate, there is likely an active cord that needs cutting.

What Cord Cutting Is and Is Not

Cord cutting is not about hatred, revenge, or wishing someone harm. It is not about erasing the love you shared or pretending the relationship never happened.

Cord cutting is about reclaiming the energy that belongs to you and returning the energy that belongs to them. It is about closing the energetic door so you can stop living in the past and start being fully present in your own life.

For personalized cord cutting rituals, an experienced practitioner can identify and sever cords you may not even know exist.

What You'll Need

• A black candle (for release and protection)
• A white candle (for healing and new beginnings)
• A piece of string or ribbon (12 inches long)
• Scissors
• A photo of you and your ex (or write both names on a piece of paper)
• A fireproof bowl or dish

Step 1: Prepare Your Space

Find a quiet space where you will not be disturbed. Clean the area physically. Light the white candle first and set the intention for healing. Say:

"I enter this space with love for myself. I release what no longer serves me so I can welcome what does."

Take three deep breaths. Center yourself. This ritual may bring up emotions — that is part of the healing.

Step 2: Acknowledge the Cord

Hold the photo (or paper with names) in your hands. Close your eyes and feel into the space between you and your ex. You may sense a tug, a heaviness, or a warmth in your chest or gut. That is the cord.

Say aloud:

"I acknowledge the connection we shared. It was real. It mattered. And now it is complete. I honor what we were and release what we are no longer."

Take your time with this step. Rushing past the acknowledgment weakens the ritual.

Step 3: Tie the Cord

Wrap the string or ribbon around the photo (or paper) three times, representing the past, present, and future — and how all three need to be released from this connection. Tie it securely.

Place the wrapped photo in the fireproof bowl.

Step 4: Cut the Cord

Light the black candle. Hold the scissors in your dominant hand. Say:

"I cut this cord now. I reclaim my energy. I return their energy. We are released to walk our separate paths."

Cut the string with the scissors. As you cut, visualize the cord snapping. Feel the release in your body — a lightness, a separation, a sense of space returning to your energy field.

Step 5: Release and Heal

If it feels right, burn the wrapped photo in the fireproof bowl (practice fire safety — have water nearby). As it burns, say:

"I release this connection with love. I am whole on my own. My heart is open to new love when the time is right."

If you cannot or do not want to burn the photo, tear it and the string into small pieces and throw them away outside your home.

Blow out the black candle. Let the white candle burn for at least 30 minutes to seal the healing energy.

After the Ritual

Cord cutting can feel intense. You may feel lighter immediately, or you may feel a wave of sadness or loss. Both are normal. Your energy is adjusting to the new space.

• Take an Epsom salt bath that night to wash away any residual energy
• Avoid contacting your ex for at least 24 hours after the ritual
• Sleep with a piece of black tourmaline or amethyst under your pillow
• Journal any dreams or emotions that come up in the following days

If you find that the cord reconnects (you start feeling them again), you may need a deeper cutting. A tarot reading can reveal hidden cords you may not have addressed.

Final Thoughts

Cutting a cord does not mean you stop loving someone. It means you stop letting that love drain your present moment. You honor the past without being trapped by it. You reclaim the energy that is rightfully yours and direct it toward your own healing and growth. You are not cutting out a part of your history. You are cutting the leash so you can finally walk forward.

✨ Ready for deeper guidance? Book a tarot reading or explore personalized ritual services with Oracle Selene.